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"What are your pronouns?"
A simple question that's somehow become controversial. You've probably seen the headlines: "Woke pronoun madness," "Gender ideology," "Why are we asking about pronouns now?"
Here's what's actually happening: we're finally acknowledging that not everyone fits neatly into "man" or "woman." And for non-binary people who've been here all along, it's about bloody time.
Non-binary means identifying outside the traditional categories of exclusively male or exclusively female. It's not a trend. It's not confusion. It's not "woke nonsense." It's simply how some people experience their gender—and it's existed across cultures for thousands of years.
Let's talk about what that actually means, why pronouns matter, and why this has become such a flashpoint in the culture wars.
Non-binary (often shortened to "enby" from the abbreviation NB) is an umbrella term for gender identities that don't fit exclusively into male or female categories.
Non-binary people might:
Important: Non-binary is a gender identity, not a sexual orientation. Who you're attracted to (sexual orientation) and how you experience your own gender (gender identity) are separate things.
Some non-binary people also identify as transgender (because their gender differs from what they were assigned at birth), whilst others don't use that label. Both are valid.
If you've been paying attention to media and politics, you've probably heard pronouns described as "woke ideology" or "forcing speech." But here's what's actually happening: we're learning more about the human experience.
Think about it: we once believed the Earth was flat. We thought the sun revolved around us. We were convinced that humans couldn't run a mile in under four minutes until Roger Bannister did it in 1954—then suddenly dozens of people managed it.
Our understanding of humanity constantly evolves as we learn more.
For centuries, Western culture insisted there were only two genders, that they were fixed and immutable, determined entirely by biology. But the more we've studied human experience—through anthropology, psychology, neuroscience, and simply listening to people—the more we've discovered: gender is more complex than we thought.
This isn't "making things up." It's recognising what's always been there.
Consider left-handedness. For centuries, left-handed people were forced to write with their right hands. Being left-handed was seen as sinister (literally—the word comes from the Latin for "left"), wrong, even evil. Teachers tied children's left hands behind their backs.
Then we realised: left-handedness is simply a natural variation in human beings. It's not a phase, not a choice, not something to "fix." It's just how approximately 10% of people are.
The percentage of left-handed people didn't suddenly increase—our recognition of it did. Once we stopped forcing everyone to be right-handed, more people felt safe being openly left-handed.
Sound familiar?
Non-binary identities haven't been invented by "woke culture." They've been discovered, named, and finally given space to exist openly in mainstream Western society.
Throughout history, humans have been discovering aspects of our own existence:
Each time, there was backlash. Each time, people claimed we were "making things up" or "going too far." Each time, we were simply recognising what had always existed.
Non-binary gender is the same. We're not creating new genders—we're finally acknowledging that gender is more nuanced than a simple binary, and that some people have always experienced it differently.
Pronouns aren't new. You've been using them your entire life. Every time you say "he," "she," "him," or "her," you're using pronouns. What's new is asking people which pronouns they use rather than assuming based on appearance.
Why? Because as we've learnt more about gender diversity, we've realised: you can't determine someone's gender by looking at them.
"But they/them is plural!"
Actually, singular "they" has been used in English since the 14th century. Shakespeare used it. Jane Austen used it. You use it constantly without thinking: "Someone left their umbrella—I hope they come back for it."
The only thing new is using "they/them" intentionally for specific people who've asked for those pronouns. That's not changing language—that's using language we already have in a more precise way.
This is the real question, isn't it? And it's worth examining honestly.
Language has always evolved as we've learnt more. We no longer use medical terms from the 1800s that we now know are inaccurate or harmful. We've updated our vocabulary around race, disability, and mental health as we've understood more about human experience.
This isn't "political correctness"—it's precision. As we learn more, we speak more accurately.
Using someone's correct pronouns isn't about politics. It's about acknowledging what we now understand: that gender is more diverse than we previously recognised, and that respecting how someone experiences their own gender is basic human decency.
Is it an adjustment if you're not used to it? Sure. So was learning that the Earth revolves around the sun, not the other way round. Adjustments in understanding are part of human progress.
When anything is new to us, it can feel confusing. But let's be honest about what we're actually being asked to do:
Learn someone's pronouns.
That's it. Just like you learn their name, you learn their pronouns. If you can remember that Robert prefers "Rob," that Margaret goes by "Mags," and that your colleague prefers coffee not tea, you can remember that Sam uses they/them.
The "confusion" often isn't about capability—it's about willingness. And here's the thing: most non-binary people aren't offended if you make an honest mistake. They're frustrated by people who refuse to try, who treat their identity as an imposition rather than as simply... who they are.
Here's what's fascinating: as we've developed better tools to study human biology and psychology, we've discovered that even biological sex is more complex than we thought.
Chromosomes, hormones, anatomy, and brain structure all play roles in sex and gender—and they don't always align neatly. Intersex people (with variations in sex characteristics) are as common as people with red hair.
We're learning that gender identity has biological components we're only beginning to understand. Brain scans of transgender people, for instance, often show patterns more similar to their identified gender than their assigned sex.
This isn't "ideology"—it's emerging science. And like all science, it's teaching us that human beings are more wonderfully complex than we previously understood.
Here's the uncomfortable truth: whenever we discover something new about human diversity, there's resistance.
When we recognised that left-handedness was natural, people resisted. When we understood that being gay wasn't a mental illness, people resisted. When we acknowledged that autism is a neurological difference, not a tragedy to be cured, people resisted.
Now we're recognising that gender is more diverse than a simple binary, and some people are resisting.
The "anti-woke" movement frames this as "ideology" or "making things up." But strip away the political rhetoric, and what they're actually opposing is:
For non-binary people, this isn't political. It's personal. They're not pushing an agenda—they're simply existing and asking to be recognised accurately.
Every time in history we've expanded our understanding of human diversity, there's been:
We've seen this pattern with left-handedness, with homosexuality, with countless aspects of human neurodiversity. We're currently somewhere between stages 3 and 4 with non-binary identities.
History suggests we'll eventually reach stage 5. The question is: how much unnecessary suffering will occur before we get there?
Let's be clear about what non-binary people are asking:
That's it. That's the "woke agenda."
If this feels like too much to ask, it might be worth examining why. Because fundamentally, it's the same thing every marginalised group has ever asked: see us accurately, respect how we experience ourselves, and make room for us to exist without constant justification.
"Isn't non-binary just a phase/trend?"
Non-binary identities have existed across cultures throughout history. Two-Spirit people in Indigenous North American cultures, hijra in South Asian cultures, muxe in Zapotec culture—gender diversity isn't new or Western.
What's new is language and visibility in mainstream Western culture. More people identify as non-binary now partly because they finally have words for their experience and see others like them.
"How do I know if someone is non-binary?"
You ask. Or they tell you. You can't determine someone's gender identity by looking at them—which is exactly why asking about pronouns matters.
"What if I accidentally use the wrong pronouns?"
Apologise briefly, correct yourself, and move on. "Sorry—they are coming to the meeting." Don't make a huge deal of it or expect the non-binary person to comfort you about your mistake. Just do better next time.
"Why do some non-binary people still present as masculine/feminine?"
Because gender expression (how you present) and gender identity (how you experience your gender) aren't the same thing. A non-binary person might wear dresses, have a beard, present androgynously, or any combination. Their appearance doesn't invalidate their identity.
"What about 'preferred pronouns'?"
Drop the word "preferred." They're not preferred pronouns—they're just pronouns. You wouldn't say someone's "preferred name" is Robert. It's just their name.
Discovery:
Many non-binary people describe years of feeling "wrong" in both male and female categories before discovering non-binary identities exist. It's not that they suddenly decided to be non-binary—it's that they finally found language for how they've always felt.
For some, it's a gradual realisation. For others, it's an immediate "oh, that's me" moment when they first learn about non-binary identities.
Coming Out (Again and Again):
Non-binary people often have to come out repeatedly—every new job, every new social situation, every time someone assumes their gender. It's exhausting.
And unlike coming out as gay or lesbian, coming out as non-binary often requires explanation. Many people still don't know what non-binary means, leading to the same conversations over and over.
Daily Misgendering:
Imagine being referred to incorrectly dozens of times a day. Cashiers, colleagues, strangers—all making assumptions based on your appearance. For many non-binary people, this is constant.
Some non-binary people feel safe correcting people. Many don't—especially in professional settings where being "difficult" about pronouns could affect their career.
Finding Community:
The non-binary community is beautifully diverse. Some non-binary people are also trans. Some are also gay, lesbian, bi, or pan. Some are ace. Non-binary people exist across all races, ages, and backgrounds.
Finding others who understand—who don't require explanation or justification—is invaluable. Online spaces, LGBTQ+ groups, and Pride events offer that community.
With the recent rollback of corporate DEI programmes, many non-binary employees are wondering: is it safe to be out at work?
The answer varies, but here's what non-binary workplace visibility looks like:
When official channels for LGBTQ+ support disappear, non-binary employees often rely on informal networks and visible signals to find each other.
The non-binary pride flag has four horizontal stripes:
The flag was created by Kye Rowan in 2014 and has become widely recognised as a symbol of non-binary identity.
Non-binary is an umbrella term. Under it, you'll find more specific identities:
Some people use multiple labels. Some just use non-binary. Some use none of these and simply describe their experience in their own words.
In a world debating whether your existence is "woke ideology," being visible takes courage.
Wearing a non-binary pride bracelet isn't about announcing your gender to everyone. It's about:
When someone sees your bracelet and their shoulders relax slightly—when you've just become a safe person in their day—that's the power of visibility.
Our non-binary bracelet is designed for exactly this. Subtle enough for workplace safety, clear enough that other non-binary people recognise it immediately.
If you're non-binary—whether you've just discovered this identity or you've known for years—you're not alone.
Resources:
Books & Media:
YouTubers & Creators:
Books:
Representation:
Non-binary isn't a trend. It's not "woke ideology." It's not confusion.
It's simply how some people experience gender—and it's part of the beautiful complexity of being human.
Throughout history, we've constantly discovered that humanity is more diverse, more nuanced, more wonderfully complicated than we previously understood. Non-binary identities are part of that ongoing discovery.
You don't need to understand it completely to respect it. You just need to recognise that as we learn more about ourselves as a species, we make room for more ways of being.
That's not ideology. That's progress.
And when you're ready to signal that you understand—or that you're non-binary yourself and proud of it—we're here for that.
Explore RCREW's non-binary pride bracelet and wear your identity with pride. Because gender is more complex than a binary, and that's something worth celebrating.
This Christmas, we want to say thank you—to every LGBTQ+ person who refuses to be invisible, who shows up authentically, who makes space for others. 2025 tested us with DEI rollbacks and political backlash—2026 may bring more challenges. But we've survived worse. We're recommitting to solidarity, visibility, and supporting each other through what comes next.
"You're just confused." "Pick a side." "You're going through a phase." If you're bisexual, you've heard it all. Here's the truth: bisexuality is attraction to multiple genders. It's not confusion, not a phase, not "half and half." It's the largest group within the LGBTQ+ community—and it's time we talked about it properly.
"So... you're attracted to pans?" If you're pansexual, you've heard this joke 47,000 times. Let's clear something up: pansexuality means experiencing attraction regardless of gender. It's not about being attracted to everyone—it's about gender not being a determining factor.
